Friday, March 16, 2007

Crumbs & Crumby - Rozee's Story

It is always better to say nothing than to say something that is obvious and hurt me. Did he do it deliberately? To shoo me away? Or did he really feel that way? I will never know...This is one thing that would forever itch my mind and keep me sleepless in my sleep. For even in my sleep I hear those words, and the vibration of his voice when he said them. It wasn’t something I did not know, yet I just didn’t want to hear it from him. I thought I conveyed him the message through the fear I hid in my eyes.

Summer came with a lot of fanfare. Gold rays spurted through blinds. The clothes on the rail whipped the smell of frizzling grass indoors. Everything around grew dewy including the people. Ice tinkled every half hr onto trays and into glasses. The bottle openers were out. So were the flower pattern hankies to mop liquid black salt off tanned gorges. Through the windows you could see everyone doing a jig towards the shade.

In spite of all the gaiety by default, there came some clammy news. The Cricket World Cup. To a prototype Gingerbread boy in happy self-imposed exile this doesn’t forebode good. Well, cause people snack as they watch wickers swing and wickets down.

For a minor flashback, the original Gingerbread boy dodged quite a few and ended in a fox’ tummy. Well, all I can say is, thank god the cow didn’t get him. Regurgitation is quite unsavory. You see, gingerbread is what you call a one-time instant crunchy flavour. But I digress. I, the new prototype outran the baker, landed in an assorted cookie jar of a premium kind making its way across oceans as Monty Panesar’s gift to a girl named Sumthnwinder. Luckily for me I escaped the gorging process. And to cut a long story short I made it into the hands of a kind small-town Dhaba owner who had no appetite for anything but butter chicken. A loving keeper indeed and it grew mutual. Every morning I get a quick scrape and some pink and Ajanta blue squeezed on that get me looking iced and garish.

Even though hopes for the Hockey World Cup for India belonged only to the zany, the rest of the townspeople didn’t need no hope to smack up snacks to stack up their racks while glued to the only LCD TV in town i.e. at my keeper’s place.

Where do I fit into this easy-maintenance lot? Once in a while there’d be a shortage of kurkure or jilebi as they watched scuttling figures and made the occasional remark about sexy calf muscles. It seems focus is a snack. And when that’s out restlessness sets in and the sexy calf muscles can be damned! At tense moments as these, there’d be the rabid eye glancing my way, itching to snap me in two. But my keeper’s surly appearance by my side would squelch even the teeniest sign of mutiny. This was last year.

And now, The Cricket World Cup! It is BIG! And so would be the snacking. My keeper had been brooding the past one week and looking my way with a sense of guilt, apprehension, love and I think I noticed even hunger and faint curiosity for the unknown. Things weren’t ok as always between my gracious keeper and me. The early morning shaves had grown shoddy, the icing runny. It’s as though he just wanted to be over with me ASAP. For a gingerbread boy, I have quite a heart. It hurt I tell you.

My eyelid started ticking. There was a grudging animosity in the air. My keeper’s shoulder slid to a spooky slouch. His eyes and fingers constantly thumbed the snack racks and the quantity ledgers respectively. There were blood-shot sneaks taken my way with a drooly leer. But like menthol induced whistles there were those short bursts of love that came through. Yet, I felt day by day that I never knew him ever.

On a starry night, I was taken out of my casing for one of those nightly treats, where I could sit on his lap and trace patterns that never end with them sparkly. This time however, the unrest of many days didn’t allow excitement to stir. But once out, swinging my crispy legs off his knee, it was hard not to get comfortable. My eyes roved the silver. A sudden draft nipped my iced nose. And that’s when I noticed the utter stillness with which he sat. Right then, he took me onto his palm and peered at me wonky-eyed as I looked at him with wild hope characteristic of doom. And he said, “Sadly, it won’t be me who first tastes you, biscuit.”

Picked Tag

1. Were you named after anyone?

Yes, Dad’s mom but with 3 letters added to its end which make it sound a lot mo classy methinks

2. Do you wish on stars?

Yep. From stars to wishbones to cats that cross paths from the right

3. When did you last cry?


4. Do you like your handwriting?

Yes, as long as it doesn’t go beyond a paragraph cos then it’s kozhi kirukals

5. What is your favourite meat

Chicken. However, I don't mind helping myself to the rest when there's a choice

6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf?

An ancient Smirnoff Megamix

7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?

Yes, I’m good fun to have around

8. Are you a daredevil?


9. How do you release anger?

Clam up and let it lie/Bawl in private/Smash something I gauge to be replaceable to fight the need to punch (rarely)/ Stomp out for a long walk

10. Where is your second home?

Me. I'm quite at home with myself.

11. Do you trust others easily?

Nope. I think too much.

12. What was your favourite toy as a child?

No choppu and all for me. Just a bright yellow tricycle and an F1 look-alike pedal car.

13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless?

School - Civics!!!! I hate! I hate! Bledy nasty teaches distinction! Dirty Subject

College – Mary Swamy on Prose indeedy!

PG – Almost all save for the few by guest lecturers

14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Nope. It comes to my rescue after the moment's passed like cops in the movies

15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?


16.What do you look for in a guy/girl?

Sharp, varied interests, willing to try anything or a lot of things, kind, ability to be and let me be

17. Would you bungee jump?

Ooohh yes!

18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

I don’t wear shoes…like my toes breathing.

19. What's your favourite ice cream?

Mint! Chocolate also

20. What are your favourite colours?

Blue, black, wine red

21. What are your least favourite things?

Monday mornings and cockroaches

22. How many people do you have a crush on right now?

Umm I’ve been permanently crushing on my 2nd std classmate

23. Who do you miss most right now?

I'll change that to 'what' - Sleep

24. What are you listening to right now?

Love street by The Doors

25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?


26. What is the weather like right now?

Effin HOT!

27. Last person you talked to on the phone?


28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Their hands and what they do with them

29. Do you like the person who sent you this?

Oh yes…love her very much indeedy! Bestest Friend :-)

30. How are you today?

Mildly worried. My right eyelid’s been ticking like crazy

31. Favourite non-alcoholic drink?

Mint soda pop, Jal Jeera, Salt lime soda, Sweet lassi, Buttermilk, Litchi juice, Guava juice

32. Favourite alcoholic drink?

Anything Tequila based

33. Natural hair colour?

Dark Brown-Black

34. Eye colour?

Dark Brown

35. Wear contacts?

Nope. Touchwood!

36. Siblings?

None. Wheeeeee!

37. Favourite month?

November. Tis gotta lotta character with its showers, slugs, snails, croaking frogs, and the songs in its name!

38. Favourite food?

Shall overlook the hint at the singular and launch into preferred menu…Mum’s Biryani, Sparky’s Lasagne, Mexican Chicken Cheese burger from Kenzos, Vanjaram fish fry, Pecos’ Squid, Homemade pork pizza, Steak Cesare from Tangerine, Kaadai from Kaaraikudi, Tiramisu and Double chocolate gateaux from Jelly Belly, Chocolate mint cake from Mocha, Chocolate mint delight from Corner house and of course Thayir Saadham.

39. Favourite day of the year?

Any Sunday

40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out?

No. Asked out the big mistake of my life.

41. Scary movies or happy endings?

Sucker for happy endings but get bloodthirsty once in a while

42. Summer or winter?

Summer! Mambazham, water melon, maanga with molaga podi on compulsory beach visits

43. Holi or Diwali?

Deepavali. New clothes :-D Also, semma non-veg saapadu

44. Do you like your name?

Totally. Methinks tis utterly cool and weird.

45. What book/magazine are you reading?

Rumpole & The Age of Miracles by John Mortimer. Quite funny.

46. What's on your mouse pad?

the brand name of my comp. The excitement is killing me!

47. What did you watch on TV last night?

Hannah Montana on Pogo. Briefly. Such is the plight of CAS victims

48. Favourite Smell?

Mun vaasanai, sea breeze, Moore Market’s musty book cum fish tank stink, Pavazha malli, Raw guavas

49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone?


50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done?

Getting through Mondays, trying to be polite to annoying relatives, getting imagination handicapped visualizers to understand an Idea